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110 Short Jokes That Get Straight to the Punchline

Short jokes are the espresso shots of comedy: small, fast, and weirdly powerful. Every one of these short jokes lands in under twenty words, so you get the setup, the punchline, and the laugh before your coffee cools. No rambling, no waiting, no mercy.

They're perfect for texting, toasts, captions, presentations, and breaking silences you can't otherwise fix. Grab a few, keep them handy, and deploy responsibly — a great short joke is a social superpower.

⚡ One-Liner Jokes 😄 Clean Jokes 😂 Jokes to Tell Your Friends 🏆 Best Jokes Ever

One-Sentence Zingers

1
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
2
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
3
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4
I invented a new word: plagiarism.
5
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
6
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
7
A backwards poet writes inverse.
8
Broken pencils are pointless.
9
Velcro — what a rip-off.
10
Whiteboards are remarkable.
11
A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
12
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
13
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
14
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
15
Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs aren't Happy.
16
Old skiers never die — they just go downhill.
17
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a-salted.
18
The psychic fair was canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.
19
I don't trust people with graph paper. They're always plotting something.
20
I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
21
My math teacher called me average. That's just mean.
22
Never discuss infinity with a mathematician. It goes on forever.

Quick Question-and-Answer Jokes

23
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
24
Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn't see himself doing it.
25
Why did Cinderella get benched? She kept running away from the ball.
26
What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
27
I asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'
28
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
29
What did one plate say to the other? 'Lunch is on me.'
30
Why did the phone wear glasses? It lost all its contacts.
31
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
32
Want to hear a potassium joke? K.
33
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? Hoo-dini.
34
What did the big flower say to the little flower? 'Hey, bud.'
35
What's a computer's favorite snack? Microchips.
36
What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
37
What has a head and a tail but no body? A coin.
38
Where do fish keep their money? In riverbanks.
39
Which building has the most stories? The library.
40
What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
41
Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged.
42
What do you call a factory that makes OK products? A satisfactory.
43
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? Claws at the end of paws, pauses at the end of clauses.
44
Why did the elephant quit the circus? It was tired of working for peanuts.

Very Short Jokes, Ten Words or Fewer

45
I'm not lazy, just in energy-saving mode.
46
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
47
Borrow money from pessimists — they never expect it back.
48
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
49
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
50
My bucket list has a hole in it.
51
I put the 'pro' in procrastinate.
52
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
53
Experience helps you recognize mistakes when you make them again.
54
Money talks. Mine mostly says goodbye.
55
My mind still wanders; my body refuses to chase it.
56
Common sense: a flower that grows in few gardens.
57
Some days you're the pigeon, some days the statue.
58
Teamwork divides the task and multiplies the blame.
59
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
60
My diet's going great — I've lost three days.
61
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
62
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
63
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
64
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
65
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just lack film.
66
Sleep is my superpower; mornings are my kryptonite.

Two-Line Jokes With Perfect Timing

67
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
68
A termite walks into a bar and asks, 'Is the bar tender here?'
69
I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know.
70
A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.
71
The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets the cheese.
72
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve breakfast.'
73
Two windmills stood in a field. One asked the other's favorite music. 'I'm a big metal fan.'
74
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
75
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks about luggage. 'No thanks, I'm traveling light.'
76
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, 'We have a drink named after you.' 'You have a drink named Steve?'
77
Two antennas met on a roof and got married. The ceremony was terrible, but the reception was excellent.
78
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
79
My doctor says I'm going deaf. The news was hard to hear.
80
Yesterday I swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
81
Two men walked into a building. You'd think one of them would've ducked.
82
A magician said he'd vanish on the count of three. He counted 'uno, dos' and disappeared without a tres.
83
The student brought a ladder to class because she heard the discussion would be on a higher level.
84
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
85
The cashier asked if I wanted the milk in a bag. I said no, keep it in the carton.
86
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, 'Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill.'
87
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?' The horse says nothing, being a horse.
88
My wife said take the spider out instead of killing it. We had drinks — turns out he's a web designer.

Short Jokes to Text Your Friends

89
I told my friend ten jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
90
I went to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.
91
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
92
To whoever stole my Microsoft Office: I will find you. You have my Word.
93
What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.
94
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
95
I once got fired from a canned juice factory. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
96
My new gloves are both lefts. On the one hand, great; on the other, terrible.
97
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
98
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine — he woke up.
99
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
100
I wasn't going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
101
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but heavier ones need a crane.
102
My wallet's like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
103
I've taken up fencing. The neighbors keep demanding I put it back.
104
Why did the archaeologist's life fall apart? His career was in ruins.
105
My Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I talked to my family. They seem like nice people.
106
My phone's at 1 percent. So is my motivation. Together we'll make it to 5 p.m.
107
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave cookies in the oven during a nap.
108
Autocorrect turned 'I love you' into 'I live yams.' We're discussing boundaries.
109
I sent my friend a joke about procrastination. He'll laugh at it eventually.
110
Nothing bonds a group chat like a terrible joke and four people typing 'ha' in perfect sync.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What makes a good short joke?

Economy. Every word sets up the punchline, and the twist lands before the listener checks out. The best short jokes are over in one breath but stick around for hours.

When should I use a short joke?

Anytime attention is scarce: texts, speeches, icebreakers, toasts, presentations. A quick joke earns a laugh without derailing the moment or stealing the spotlight.

Are short jokes the same as one-liners?

One-liners are a type of short joke — a single sentence with a built-in twist. Short jokes also include quick Q&A jokes and two-line setups that still finish in seconds.

How do I remember jokes when I need them?

Pick five favorites and rehearse the punchlines out loud, because muscle memory beats regular memory. Bookmarking this page helps too — future you at a party will send thanks.